Waiting for the One

A knight in shining armor. What is that a picture of? I keep a picture in my room of a knight going out to battle with the other men, but just as he's passing the gate a maiden ties on a red scarf to the knight's left arm. Underneath the picture it reads, "A battle to fight...An adventure to live...A beauty to rescue..." It's always inspired me. Unfortunately I think more of the beauty to rescue than the other two. Maybe it's because the picture depicts the beauty and only hints at the other two.

Regardless, this knight in shining armor is going out to risk his life in battle, potentially to never come back, and all he goes out with is the symbol of this woman's love. Only a promise that when he returns she will be waiting.

Sure, that was back then. The rules have changed a little bit since 500 years ago, I know. But we still us that old phrase, "knight in shining armor." Yet these so called "knights" have become scarce, and the definition of "shining" has become so gray that a lot more worthless men now fit it. I count myself as shining only because of how I view the road to marriage. It's not about getting all you can and then see if the girl likes you enough to live life together. It's about waiting even after the woman has tied her symbol to you before you appear in battle.

I really look down on men who are just in a relationship for the take. Sure it's fun, but when it's all over you leave a path of destruction maybe not as much in your life, but the woman has lost her symbol and now stands in shame. I've been in a position before where it hasn't worked out and I didn't get physical. I was still crushed and didn't want to do anything for about six months. I was devastated. I felt like I had fallen off my horse and that no maiden would ever wish to tie herself to me again.

I thank God that it wasn't to be. I began getting to know another maiden, and she's turned out to be who I am with now. But we went through a period where we didn't think that we could make it together. In that time I began to be the knight that didn't care. I would spend time with others and simply be friends with as many as I could, because of the hurt and void that was left in me. But at this point where I am back with this beautiful maid again, standing before that adventure to live, all I wish that could've been different is that I had stuck to that "beauty" even though she was undefined.

The word "wait" is more or less taboo in this society. Patience is frowned upon more than uplifted. But if you want God's best for the rest of your life, wait for the right one. God has the two of you set apart right now, but in His infinite wisdom and good timing He will bring you together when it is the right time. But if you don't wait, and I don't say this without God, that knight will pass you by and continue onward without you. I know because I would have done the same to mine if she had backslid a great way. God has made each person for one person, the face doesn't matter as much as who this person is inside.

The word "beautiful" to me means "pretty on the inside as well as the outside." When you say something is pretty it's more like "yeah it looks good." When you say it's "beautiful" you mean it has a radiance from the inside that magnifies the beauty of the outside. That's what I have. I've waited for her, I didn't get physical with anyone until I met her. For those who already have been physical I would encourage you to just step away from anybody of the opposite sex and get closer to God. He never had anything but the best in mind for you, and doing a lifelong thing without God is something that will hurt. God isn't against you, He isn't even for waiting. He is about each thing in its time. He created man and woman not to wait but to go all the way. That's why He cautions us to keep things for its time.

In summary I guess all I can say is, by seeking God you will find the perfect one He has set for you. By choosing Him He will give to you the perfect life. My mom always used to tell me that the way to look for the "one" God has for me is to "run as hard as you can after God, then when you get to that place where you feel as if it's time to start looking, look around and see who's running just as hard towards God with you."

I hope my relationship with Caitlin can become something inspirational to other people. I've come a long way, some times I went along without God. But I can readily tell you, that when I decided to go my own way those were the times that I've found coming back to me. They've not held any good thing for me. But each time that I've gone after God and His will, I can never regret the things done or said, and I count myself as the most blessed man to be given this relationship with Caitlin. I followed God and He's given me the best, all I can say is do what I've done, it really isn't all that bad once you get to the end. :-)